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The Fostering Balancing Act

You will have heard the phrase, “all good things in moderation”. However, when it comes to fostering, moderating yourself regarding natural human responses can be difficult. Striking the balance between a caring relationship with a child, whilst maintaining a healthy, appropriate amount of distance, is a skill in and of itself.

Clearly, there are several thoughts that many new foster carers tend to struggle with:

  • how do I intentionally limit the attachment that grows between myself and the child?
  • what if the child is upset by the distance I’m required to maintain?
  • why can’t I behave naturally around the child?

As we’re all human beings, these are completely natural questions. However, the simple fact of fostering means that after coming together, the majority of foster carers and their foster children will end up going their separate ways. For many, this is an inevitable part of the journey.

But how the foster carer approaches this, and the mindset they employ as they go about their role, can and does make all the difference. And what’s more, at Perpetual Fostering we’re well aware of the hard work involved in getting this important relationship right. Time and time again, we have strived to leverage our many years of collective experience to support our carers every step of way, whenever needed.

Our team at Perpetual Fostering provides round the clock counsel, support and advice: this is all in place to put our carers at ease. After passing our rigorous assessment, part of the way we reward everyone who fosters with us is through partnering closely and conscientiously with each and every individual.

In light of this, it’s important to remember that all we expect from our carers is for them to be themselves. There’s no pressure on them to try and be the all-knowing, omnipotent and hyper-capable “super carer”, always armed with the right answers and never with any need for advice or help. Figuring out how to balance a relationship with a foster child is something that only comes with time, alongside experience gained from a variety of foster placements. So – whatever stage you’re at in your fostering journey – if you’re scratching your head about this balancing act, don’t worry. Everyone has to start somewhere!

If you’re thinking about fostering, but are unsure about what is involved, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us. We’re always here to share our knowledge about foster care – we’d also love to hear from you.

FREE Fostering Guides

Download our free ebooks to learn more about becoming a foster carer. View Fostering Guides


During your lunch break, or the time you spend checking Facebook, another child will come into care. Right now, that child is thinking: 'Who cares?' More Videos
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